Pure, butter colored silk nightgown with a halter neck and drawstring bodice.

What sort of hairstyle gos best with a nightgown? Not surprisingly it depends on the woman, the hair and the gown. I have a lot of hair. I consider myself lucky. It’s very thick, pretty straight and these days quite a lot grey, but you wouldn’t know that to look at me because my hair, like that of pretty well every other woman over forty, is dyed.

This weekend was pretty momentous for me because the color has changed quite a lot, from a reasonably modest red (which I’ve been for as long as I can remember, with occasional highlights) to a similar red but with additional, cold black and a shock of blond. The combination is quite striking. Note the choice of words. I’m not convinced it’s flattering, but it’s definetly striking! You would notice my hair.

But the whole thing got me thinking about the role of hair in a woman’s life. Hair is so closely tied to self-esteem, there’s no greater disaster than a terrible ‘do’ on a special occasion and no greater necessity than a new ‘do’ when life goes through one of those drastic changes. If you’ve recently become a resident of dumpsville,  a hair stylist is likely to be one of your first ports of call.

I’ve had my hair done all over the world, small shops, posh salons, cruise ships, 5 star hotels, and I’ve come to the conclusion that on a really special cocasion I’d rather do my hair myself. It’s not that I don;t want to have it professionally cut and professionally colored, but I’ve never yet had my hair done for a special occasion and actually liked the result.

I’ve tried to analyse the reason for this and come to the conclusion that it’s because of my weight. Hairdressers are trained to create styles which change your face to be as close to the idea of perfection as possible. That shape has always been the oval. Fat people of course all have round faces (no of course we don’t all have round faces, but bear with me), so the ideal hairstyle for us is one which lengthens the face – perhaps just long straight hair would be best?

OK. You guessed it, I wasn’t being completely serious. While some women do suit long straight hair, it’s certainly not the ideal for a large round face, yet look around and you’ll find it being recommended to plus sizes. I was once told it was ideal  because the long sides help to  ‘cover up’ the width of the face. Thanks. Why not suggest a paper bag? That would have the same effect, we could cut out eyeholes just to be sure I didn’t trip over my plus size feet.  I once asked a hairdresser for a bright copper shade. She ummed and awed for a while until she finally blurted out that it wouldn’t be a good idea because it would draw attention to me.  Apparently that was something to be avoided. I wonder why?

So I have met a very charming man who is a hairdresser in St Cloud, Florida. I am sure that when he looks at me he can, like everyone else, see that I am overweight. However he does realise that I do not walk around in a paper bag and has done what I wanted, let me have fun with my hair. Guess where I’ll be going in future?

Am I fat? Yes.

Would I like to be thinner? Yes.

Do I feel bad  and hate the way I am? NO!

Am I putting my life on hold until I am thinner? Definetly not.

These are not contradictions. I would also like to be taller. I’ve decided not wait for that to happen either.