wondered, was she making an excuse to be polite, or was she really putting off something she wanted to do, something she could do, for a silly reason?

Ive done lots of silly things in life. things that werent really sensible, things that involved risk, things that were expensive, but somehow I suspect that when I am about to die, if I get time to think it through, it will the things I haven‘t done I regret.

This is not about nightgowns. This is about life. How many things do we put off  ‘until we lose weight’ ‘until we get a bigger house’, ‘until we get a better job’. My mother has been waiting, as she puts it, for her ‘ship to come in’ for at least 30 years. I hate to tell her that I think it came in years ago, unloaded, picked up new cargo and set sail once again, only she didn’t notice.

If we assume that many of the people who tell us that us that we are fat and lazy, and undermine our self image are doing it for the best, and not merely to keep the diet industry earning, then they are still guilty. They are asking  us to put life on hold, to waste precious days.  Why should we? It’s not yet a crime to be fat. If people don’t find you pleasing to they eye, it is their loss. Every person should celebrate themselves every day. We have to fight those people who want us to be less than we are, because we have a great deal to give, and we don’t need to wait until we lose weight to do it.

Don’t put things off. If you really want to do something, make a plan, set a goal. Whether it’s buying a nightgown or climbing Everest, go for it.

If not now, when?

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It’s not that I disagree with the advice – well OK, yes I did disagree with some of the advice – but what struck me most was the title – ‘How to dress a plus size body type’.  Have I been missing something? Is there only one shape that is ‘plus size’?

One thing you learn very quickly when making plus size lingerie (as we do at Certain Style) is that women come in all shapes and sizes from tiny and fragile  to statuesque. Those who fall into the plus – size bracket – and the definition of that changes regularly – are not simply one part of the market. There is no such thing as the ‘plus size body type’  – there are many many body types many of which are plus size.  I myself am a petite plus. No, that isn’t a contradiction in terms. I’m plus, but short. It happens, despite the ridiculous belief amongst clothing manufacturers that  all plus size women are amazons! There again there are many astoundingly beautiful women, among them many plus size models, who are five feet eleven and over. You cannot say that what looks good on a woman who is five foot eleven looks as good on a woman who is five feet tall, yet both can be plus size.  You can’t say ‘emphasise your neckline’ to woman with a very large bust and expect things to look the same on her as they do on someone who may be technically the same size, but carries her weight primarily around her hips.

In short plus size is just a label and it is not a particularly helpful or descriptive one.  And the fact that  our measurements are large doesn’t mean we don’t want to be noticed. ‘Wear dark colors’, we are told, because they are flattering. Rubbish. What you mean is wear dark colors because they are slimming, because your edges blur and are not distinct against the background. Wear dark colors and blend in so you won’t be noticed.

I’m as keen on tasteful dressing as the next woman, but anyone who thinks that you can dress 64 inch hips like mine in a dark color and have them go unnoticed is living in a dream world. Personally, I like to wear red.  It’s a fabulous color and since you’re going to notice my size anyway I’d like you to notice that I’m not just large I’m also cheeful! All plus size women are not the same. Please don’t generalize.

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