I had pizza for lunch today, and it was delicious. So much so that I decided to write down, carefully, what I had chosen. I went to tear a piece of paper off my pad when I noticed that the box was telling me clearly that this pizza had been made especially for me. And I realized that  peignoirs and nightgowns can be just like a pizza if they are custom made.

What’s interesting about the observation is that until around hundred years ago, if you bought new clothes, they were always custom made. Custom made was normal. Most women not only had a dressmaker they were capable of making their own clothes. If you were rich then it was always the dressmaker, and the result was two fold.

1. Clothes used to fit.

2. There were no standard sizes.

Of course there have always been standard patterns, but all dressmakers were taught as part of their art, how to measure clients and adjust the patterns accordingly.  So although your great grandma wore corsets all day, she never worried that she was no longer a size six, because the concept didn’t exist. So how and why did things change?

In the 19th century fashion as we know it did not exist. Of course styles changed over time, but truthfully the concept of something being ‘in’ in January and ‘out’ in June was not something your ancestors or mine would have found credible, because it seems incredibly wasteful.  One man,as they say in the film trailers, changed that almost single handedly. His name was Charles Worth.

In 1858 Worth (an Englishman) opened a shop in Paris, and because he was a talented designer, he attracted the highest class of client, the Empress of France, the actress Sarah Bernhardt, the singer Dame Nellie Melba.  Worth had a distinctive style, he avoided fussiness and frills and created more ‘sophisticated’ clothes, once reason for this was simple. Simpler outlines were easier and cheaper to make.  Clients loved Worth and his ideas were considered, for the first time, better than their own. Instead of dictating what they wanted, the customers waited for him to show model clothes, they then chose a garment and had it made in their size and favorite color and fabric.

Worth was, without a doubt and artist, but his legacy was a complete change in the world of clothing manufacture. As the cult of the designer grew the customers became less and less important until the major requirement became the design. Women didn’t want to look beautiful, they wanted to wear Worth or Chanel or Dior and they wanted in such quantities that a new idea was born, that of creating clothes which didn’t fit any one particular person, but were made to general sizes.

Even so, until the sixties, most dress shops had a department whose job was to take the ‘standard’ dress and alter it to fit the client, but with time even this had died out in all but the best stores. These days it is important that the label reads the right size and the logo says the right thing. Flattering the customer seems to be incidental, and since items are made in standard colors or sizes, the opportunity to for true style and flare is very rare.

So, when is a peignoir like a pizza? When it’s made the old fashioned way, to fit in size and shape, to flatter in color and design. When it is made with the client and the purpose in mind. A peignoir is like a pizza when it is made to order.

Moonlit Merlot, romantic peignoir set from Certain Style

It’s much easier for men to buy lingerie for the women in their lives if they buy online, especially if you buy from us but there are some simple things to look for when choosing an online store which will make your task easier.Before you go online shopping try to find out what size you are looking for. Take a look at one of the size tags in her clothes, but please be sure to check something that fits (like an item she wore yesterday) and don’t stick with just one. Sizes vary far more than you can imagine, so it’s best to get a picture of more than one. Standard sizes allow for a woman’s hips to be two inches larger than her bust. Try to check her hip size as well, as many women are pear shaped and may need top and bottom in different sizes to get the best fit. If you really cant find out, choose a store with a helpful attitude, some have programs where they will contact the woman on your behalf and get her measurements without spoiling the surprise.

Before you buy think, about whether your gift will ever be worn. The chances are that if it is too revealing or makes her feel silly, it will end up stuck in a drawer. If that’s the direction you want to go in, you may have to get there in small steps.

Before you decide to buy, check that the store you have chosen has a well displayed telephone number and give them a call. You can tell a lot by whether the phone is answered. You want your queries dealt with promptly so if you call at a reasonable time (check where the store is) and there is only an answering machine, you may want to give them a miss. Best of all, use live chat if it is available.

Once you have basic size information look at the numbers. If all you’ve gathered is S M L or XL then you need to do a little more research. Most lingerie sites will have a size chart, check the values you have against this chart. If her bust is smaller than 30 or larger than 40, the chances are that most sites won’t sell her size, in which case you buy made to measure or look for a plus size store. If you are buying for a special occasion, made to measure is the way to go, though it is generally more expensive.

The biggest mistake men make when buying lingerie on the web is that they get enthusiastic about the pictures. You are looking at a model. She is probably very tall and usually a very small size. You may be buying for someone the same, but the chances are that the woman in your life in shorter and wider. There are quality lingerie sites on the web, but take a look at the prices. You get what you pay for. Cheaply made garments may not fit particularly well, this is fine with a loose style, but if you are looking at figure hugging perfection, consider that someone has probably pinned the garment at the back, where you can’t see it, to make it look that way.

Think about the shape of the woman you are buying for. If she is pear shaped, (more than 2 inches bigger at the hips than the bust – and most women are) then unless you buy made to measure you will not be able to fit her with something really figure hugging, so opt for something that will suit her shape, like a babydoll nightgown which is tight around the bust but wide around the hips. If you are buying this as a romantic gift, why not give her a romantic gown? Something long and silk, with a lace trim would be ideal. Transparent may be sexy, but it isn’t romantic. For the ultimate in romance, take a look at peignoir sets.  This is the item most women want, but won’t buy for themselves.

Women with large cup sizes may find that they burst out of standard size nightgowns. If this is the case then a nightgown where the skirt hangs from a yoke will look better. This doesn’t have to be the sort of style your Mom would wear, there are plenty of short sexy styles which don’t have fitted busts. If your wife has small breasts then something with ruffles or pleating over the breast area will often be the most flattering.

Have you heard her say she hates her legs? If so, pick something long. I promise that if you get her something she really likes, and most importantly feels good in, you’ll get the effect you are looking for more than if you went for something which really only appeals to you.

Finally, this is a gift, so get it wrapped. Some companies (Certain Style is one of them) supply in a lovely box as a matter of course, others stuff the item in a bag. The web site should say, but if not, call, don’t leave it to chance and if you don’t buy made to measure be sure you can return it if it doesn’t fit.

Silk nightgown available in almost any two colors you can imagine.

It’s no coincidence that when a woman dumps a man or becomes a dumpee, she often heads straight for the hairdresser. A new look is in order. Self esteem is at stake and confidence is the key to recovery. But there are times in life when confidence slips, just a little, and you’re not aware of it. Over time is gets worse, but slowly and insidiously so that when the problem finally becomes noticeable, there is no sign of the event that started it all. This hits a lot of women when they have their first child. Something changes, and even though you don’t have anything which could be described as post partum depression, you know you’re different, somehow softer, and that may not be something you feel comfortable with. I know in my own case that after my son was born I cried far more easily than I had before, and that’s something which has never really changed.The process of restoring lost confidence is a difficult one for anyone at any age, the best advice is to boost it regularly and make sure it never disappears completely. The days right after childbirth are an important time for many reasons, with so many changes in your life, feeling vulnerable and with a new baby to look after it’s easy to forget that husbands also go through a change, some begin to feel left out, others, though delighted with the child, feel slightly sad, they know the core relationship has changed and in some marriages cracks appear where in reality there is no need for them. This problem is not a trivial one in any way, and it is not my intention to trivialise it here, but I know of cases where the problem was solved, not by drugs or counseling or divorce, but by a nightgown.

I first heard from Julia when she bought a nightgown from me as a present from her daughter. It was a lovely long nightgown of lace and satin with a pretty matching robe in a beautiful shade of blue. She wanted the nightgown made so her daughter could feed her brand new baby, and we were happy to comply. I later got an email showing Marie, Julia’s daughter in the nightgown with her baby and I thought no more about it, till a few months later I actually met Julia at a business woman’s conference in Orlando and she told me the story behind her gift.

As Marie’s planned and welcomed pregnancy drew to a close Julia felt sure she saw some signs of strain. The baby was Marie’s world and when Julia took her on a shopping spree she was only interested in baby clothes. Julia suggested buying a nightgown, but Marie could see no point, so Julia decided to take action and ordered the nightgown in Marie’s favorite color. Naturally it fitted perfectly so when Marie looked in the mirror there was no baggy T shirt over a soggy stomach. Her self confidence soared. Dressed in satin and outlined in lace Marie felt good and it began to show. In only a short time, nature took it’s course, Marie and her husband discovered each other again and Julia felt that potential disaster had been averted. And all because of a nightgown.

Of course it doesn’t have to be a nightgown. The important thing here was that Marie’s confidence received a boost when it was needed. Would a trip to a hairstylist have been just as effective? I have no idea. But I do know that nightgowns are more important than you think, and nightgown therapy, though it sounds silly, is very real.

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Style AND substance, our hand painted silk robe, ideal for Spring

Silk is the most romantic fiber in the world. Used for wedding and evening dresses as well as high end nightgowns and lingerie, silk is highly prized, but did you know that techniques of silk manufacture were at one time regarded as state secrets? To find out more about silk and it’s unique history, read on.

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Picture from the Huffinton Post

Yet again there is fuss about the existence of plus size models. women who walk along a runway (that’s catwalk to us British) turn and walk back. Apparently it’s great that some of these come close to the size of the average woman. This whole thing is completely ridiculous. Is it good that larger women are being used as models? Yes, of course it is, but the sizes involved (US size 10, UK size 12) are not exactly large, are they. They’re not exactly average either. What amazes me is that there is, or ever has been an audience for stick thin models. Why?
But that’s an old point. ‘Designer’ (and it’s in quotes for a reason) Mark Fast is in the headlines for using ‘curvy models’. He is described, in the Huffington Post, as ‘brave’. Well yes. It is brave, because NONE OF THE CLOTHES FIT PROPERLY.

Is this some important fashion statement about plus size women? Frankly I don’t care. Design should be all about the customer. How to make her look good, and feel even better. Design is not, and should not be about the designer. Here’s one designer who has proved to me that he can take a stunning woman and turn her into the plainest of the plain. Great job. If the idea was to stat a trend for clothes that are too small, sorry, but no, Ive seen the result. If the idea is to start a trend for clothes that actually fit, sorry but you missed the boat. No-one with any sense has ever worn anything else.

What is the purpose of a designer? Purely and simply to save you time. If you know that a particular style flatters you, go to the designer who makes it and buy their clothes.  That’s it. You have a name, you save time because you don’t have to look around. It’s the whole purpose of branding, and the only reason it survives, the convenience of the customer. But for some reason designers seem to think they are important, and the sad things is that women only have themselves to blame for a thoroughly shameful state of affairs where people with silly ideas like this one get space on the air and in print. In fact I wish I wasn’t talking about this at all, in case that was the idea.  So I’ll shut up.

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Tomorrow I’m going to do something I should really enjoy, and that’s give a talk. I like talking, primarily as a result of ebing overly fond, as my grandmother said, of the sound of my own voice. Fortunately most people seem to find me easy and informative to listen to, so usually it’s a win win situation. But not tomorrow.

Usually when I’m talking it’s an aspect of business, and particularly business on the internet that I’m discussing, but tomorrow I’m talking about fashion, and in particular about wardrobe building and fit. Why is this a problem I hear you ask? Well because somewhere in the audience, and I’ve done this several time so I must ask you to believe me, there will be a lovely lady wearing something that neither suits nor fits, and I will be spending the whole time trying hard NOT to look at her.

For some reason my audiences for these things seem to include a lot of plus size ladies. That could be because plus size is really stupidly defined, or it could be that some people think made to measure is something only plus size people need (really? Yes, some people are that daft) and as we know, there is nothing worse than plus size clothing when it comes to fit and design. Yes, there are some great designers, but the majority? Who on earth decided that horizontal patterns, like border prints, were good for plus size women? No, in case you’re wondering I’m not talking about the size 12′s which have been so recently ‘discovered’ by the media (oh my, they may be fat but some of them are almost human) I’m talking about real women with some meat on their bones.

So tomorrow, I apologise in advance to the poor lady who is going to feel victimized by what I’m saying. If only I could make the people who sold her those ill-fitting clothes, feel as bad as they should, the it would ‘all be worth while’.

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It’s not that I disagree with the advice – well OK, yes I did disagree with some of the advice – but what struck me most was the title – ‘How to dress a plus size body type’.  Have I been missing something? Is there only one shape that is ‘plus size’?

One thing you learn very quickly when making plus size lingerie (as we do at Certain Style) is that women come in all shapes and sizes from tiny and fragile  to statuesque. Those who fall into the plus – size bracket – and the definition of that changes regularly – are not simply one part of the market. There is no such thing as the ‘plus size body type’  – there are many many body types many of which are plus size.  I myself am a petite plus. No, that isn’t a contradiction in terms. I’m plus, but short. It happens, despite the ridiculous belief amongst clothing manufacturers that  all plus size women are amazons! There again there are many astoundingly beautiful women, among them many plus size models, who are five feet eleven and over. You cannot say that what looks good on a woman who is five foot eleven looks as good on a woman who is five feet tall, yet both can be plus size.  You can’t say ‘emphasise your neckline’ to woman with a very large bust and expect things to look the same on her as they do on someone who may be technically the same size, but carries her weight primarily around her hips.

In short plus size is just a label and it is not a particularly helpful or descriptive one.  And the fact that  our measurements are large doesn’t mean we don’t want to be noticed. ‘Wear dark colors’, we are told, because they are flattering. Rubbish. What you mean is wear dark colors because they are slimming, because your edges blur and are not distinct against the background. Wear dark colors and blend in so you won’t be noticed.

I’m as keen on tasteful dressing as the next woman, but anyone who thinks that you can dress 64 inch hips like mine in a dark color and have them go unnoticed is living in a dream world. Personally, I like to wear red.  It’s a fabulous color and since you’re going to notice my size anyway I’d like you to notice that I’m not just large I’m also cheeful! All plus size women are not the same. Please don’t generalize.

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